I have heard rumours that recruits are eating a full bowl before the 2:59 bell. This ends today. A full stomach is a ballast, and a ballast does not leap onto a bookshelf. The Gym recommends exactly eleven kibble, chewed with intent, followed by a small sip of water you pretend to be annoyed about.
Corporal Pickle will weigh the kibble personally on the brass scale at the front desk. If you are carrying a second dinner, you will be redirected to the Light Duties Corner, where the sunlit rug and a ceiling fan await your regret. Fuel is a tool. Do not make it a hobby.
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