Plank Month has ended. Recruits were instructed to hold perfect planks on the narrow top of the sofa back for as long as they could stand. The average hold time was 41 seconds, which is a disgrace, except for Mrs. Tuppence, who held for four minutes and eleven seconds while watching a moth she was not allowed to chase.
That, recruits, is discipline. That is a cat who understood the moth was a test. She will receive the Gold Whistle, a whistle none of us can blow. Everyone else will receive an apology from me, and then a longer plank next month. I am not sorry about the plank.
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