A recruit asked whether we would install a treadmill. I thanked them for the question and then lay on the floor for a full minute to recover. A treadmill is a conveyor belt for people who have forgotten what a corridor is. It goes nowhere. It is loud. It is a humiliating metaphor with a plug.
We offer instead the Gym’s own Real Hallway, now with a new 14 metre runner in a tasteful beige. Beneath it we have installed a layer of foam so thin that you will feel every bounce. The foam is called Honesty. It has a four star review from a recruit who skidded on it and landed in a laundry basket.
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