Effective immediately, the laundry basket in the upstairs hallway has been designated an Official Gym Obstacle. It will be assigned the number 4 and will carry a small plaque reading ‘Do Not Fall In’. Recruits who fall in will be said to have ‘taken the plunge’ and will be allowed ten minutes of regret before returning to duty.
The basket is soft, deep, and smells faintly of a human’s gym clothes, which feels appropriate. It is the Gym’s finest obstacle. It has absorbed 118 falls this month alone, none of them intentional, all of them admired. Treat it with reverence, or at least with a sprint.
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