The Case Against Sleeping Through Training

I have received several letters, all written in the form of a stare, defending the right to sleep through the 2:59 bell. I have considered them with the full gravity of my office, and the answer is no. Sleep is a luxury. Sleep is what you do when the hour has been conquered.

That said, the Gym does not oppose sleeping in principle. We simply ask that you do it elsewhere, at a time when your absence will not diminish the collective morale of the hallway. Sleep from 4:42 until roughly 2:58 the following night, with a break for lunch and for glaring at pigeons. This is the schedule of champions. It is also, regrettably, the schedule of the sofa.